Wednesday, 28 January 2009
A modern Gentlemen
So i have a question that maybe so of you could help answer by giving me your opinions. I consider myself a gentlemen but i don't want to be to old fashioned and seem ignorant. My question is this " how does one know if he should be paying for things on a date or if he should let his date pay, or should it be 50/50?" I really don't know what to do lol. I have always felt like its the responsibility of the person who asked the other person out to pay for everything;however i don't want to be old fashioned and look like a moron. What are the kids doing now days? what should "A Modern Gentlemen" do?
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I think it depends on the people involved. But normally i think its whomever asks the other one out pays for everything unless you talk to the person and decide on 50/50 paying..i asked a guy on a date and we split everything..but if its a first date and you as a male ask her out i would definatly pay for everything until you develop a relationship with her..does that help?
ReplyDeleteWell lets say you go to dinner and a movie because I dunno I'm boring but I think that its cool if the guy buys dinner and the girl buys the movie or something but it depends many dates you have been on.
ReplyDeleteI concur with the comments so far. I personally wish that the girl would atleast offer to pay for something. like camille said, the movie or maybe icecream. or visa versa if she asks him out. My question to about when a girl asks out a guy. she picks him up. they go out and she is taking him home. does she walk him to the door? what is protocol for that situation? Does the guy open the car door for the girl if she is driving?
ReplyDeletejeff, in the words of my mythology teacher.."girls have killed chivalry!!" I think any guy that wants a second date regardless of who asked who out the guy should always open the car door for the girl and if i was driving a guy home i don't usually walk him to the door...but again i go back to my mythology teacher because she is right..its all in the hands of the girls..we wouldn't even be having this discussion if it were the 1920's...but since its not i would take it on a case by case basis..if all else fails you can always ask your date in a polite casual conversation about it so you know what to do when the night is over...that is the best answer i have for you
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ReplyDeleteSo I personally have a different opinion than those previously given. Well first of all I think that whoever asked should pay. But then I think that at the beginning of this little "relationship" the guy should pay. It is so hard for me to let a guy pay and I would always try to help and pay but then I had a very wise person explain to me once. They told me that this guy is trying to woo me over and that taking me on dates is part of this process. I am a pretty independent girl and so for a guy to swoop in and start paying for things is kinda difficult to handle at times. But I have had to learn to just handle it. But after maybe the first 2-3 dates I help to pay or split the cost with the guy. However, it's a totally different situation if the girl asks. I would never expect the guy to pay or drive if I asked him on a date. I hope this helps!!! Good luck :)
ReplyDeleteOk, this is a very good topic. In answer to the very first question asked, here is what I think: If the girl takes you out, she pays. If the guy asks the girl out, he pays. If the girl offers to pay too when the guy has asked her out of course you say no. Then if she persists then perhaps it is ok, if she feels that strongly about it. As far as the car door opening thing goes. I for one always open the door for the girl, usually this involves a funny comment to make it less awekward. One question I have though is, how many times must one open the door? It's kind of annoying for both parties if the guy is opening and shutting the door every 15 minutes and at every stop they go on the date.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Quinn about who pays. Also if its a casual situation, not like a formal date then most of the time I see it being appropriate for each individual to pay for themselves.
ReplyDeleteMy question is do guys really care whether a girl walks them to the door or not? Because I think that is awkward and not neccessary.
Quinn, the only time you should open a door is when she is getting in the car or grabbing the door at a restaurant ya know? If the girl is somewhat independent she should be able to open the door herself to get out of the car :). Besides if its really that big of deal and stops are being made frequently, then im sure she will let it slide if you don't grab the door everytime.
I believe that whoever asks the other person on a date should pay for it. If you plan it then you should pay (and i sure hope you have something planned because it sucks when you get asked out and then they have nothing in mind and its kind of awkward). I agree with Rachel that the first couple dates the guy should pay but after that if you have caught a good fish she will start to help pay and be considerate of you poor college dating funds.
ReplyDeleteAnd now to Jeff if I had asked a guy out and i was driving i would not expect him to open my car door, but any other door you should. And like Stacy I don't usually walk a guy to the door. Well good luck and may your next date be the one of dreams!! :)
I agree with those that said whoever asks out the other person pays. It is always good for the other person to bring money just in case they need to pay. Don't be afraid to talk to your date about who pays either just so you are on the same page.
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